Alabama Teabagger Gets Two Year Prison Sentence
On January 9th, 2012 the Alabama Crimson Tide fought the LSU Tigers in the All-State BCS National Championship game. It was a game completely dominated by the Tides defense, K Jeremy Shelley and RB Trent Richardson. The Tile would roll on to a 21-0 victory to lock up the crystal football trophy deeming them the best team in Division I football. The celebration started on the field with the players, coaches and staff but the emotion erupted out of the Superdome and into the streets of NOLA.
It was at a Krystal Burger on Bourbon Street just before the clock struck midnight that someone was recording a passed out LSU fan inside of the restaurant. At first the drunken Bama fans are stacking fast-food wrappers on his head, posing for pictures and pretending to slap the inebriated Tiger fan. Slowly it escalates and there is a man seen putting his finger in the passed out man’s nose. He doesn’t stop there and begins to insert his finger into the mouth and ear of the young man. There are multiple male Tide fans that go for their belts and look to be unzipping their pants.
Not a single person actually goes through with their disrobing until the man who was seen fingering the passed out man’s mouth and ear returns to the screen. He enters from the left with his pants unzipped and his testicles dangling from his pants. The crowd erupts in laughter and he climbs a chair in an attempt to tea-bag the passed out kid. Teabagging is when a male dunks or rests his testicles on another person, body part may vary, and is similar to the motion one uses to mix their teabag with warm water in a mug or glass. The man throws in a couple of pelvic thrusts and continues to rile up the crowd with his hysterical actions. This is the same type of stuff you would see in any frat house on any campus in America on a Thirsty Thursday or postgame rager.
Balls are funny, and teabagging to males aged 13-35 is hard to top in the comedy world, top that with a large crowd of encouraging onlookers and this belligerent Bama fan couldn’t contain himself. It turns out that the young Alabama Teabagger was actually, Brian Dowling, 32, from Phoenix City Alabama and made the trip to New Orleans without his wife or 3 month old baby. After the video of Dowling went viral the search was on to identify the perpetrator. When Dowling’s identity was revealed he turned himself in and was charged with one count of sexual battery and one count of obscenity.
Dowling’s trial was set to start Tuesday morning but minutes before the Teabagger’s lawyers reached a plea agreement with prosecutors. He agreed to a two-year prison sentence but may be released with good time after just nine months. The Judge in the case, Orleans Parish Criminal District Judge Karen Herman, said that she would likely recommend a boot camp program for Dowling to complete during his detainment. If Dowling was found guilty of all the charges he could have faced as much as a 10 year sentence, along with having to register as a sex offender.
I think it was clear to anyone that if this had gone to trial all that was necessary was watching that 5 minute YouTube video to get a guilty verdict. The real question is does the punishment fit the crime? Does a man’s testicles rubbing against one’s neck deserve 9 months of prison bootcamp? It’s pretty sad because the Crimson Tide basically teabagged the LSU Tigers in that Championship game but they were rewarded!